Its taken a long time before I finally shared my website with my family. Sure, during trips back to visit the fam, I tried to explain to them what I do. I even had a chance to give a Session to a beloved family member. I never shared with them the work I’ve done on my website. I was still scared. I felt scared to be fully on display, and hear or feel someone judging the work I had done - and so, until only recently (like last week), I finally shared it with my parents.
I’ve been working on this baby for the last 2 years. Tweaking, revamping, total upgrades, the whole nine. I wrote, and wrote, and often after a few months would totally remove what I had written....shoot, I had My whole blog published, and along with the latest reVamp - she got removed - luckily just for a total makeover.
You know, because there are the pictures and graphics that should be Pinterest friendly, and everything like that!
Anyways, like I started saying above, I finally shared her with my parents. And they support me. And though, their business is in a totally different playing field, on many levels, they’ve given me so much advice and compliments.
Maybe I should have shared it sooner?
Maybe Now was the right time?
Maybe I just had to get myself to a point of actually feeling good and deep down proud of what I’ve done and accomplished?
I was afraid that My Feely & Floaty World would be - Burned.
Yeah, in that way.
Because if you Do have the chance to read some of what I write about, you’ll begin to understand that the person that I sometimes portray - goes a bit deeper. I think and feel a lot...but haven’t yet fully found a totally safe outlet or platform where I feel that I won’t get looks like ‘??? That girl is WeIRd???’
Yea, because I often hear and Feel what people are saying. In order to keep myself from feeling hurt, I learned (and am working now on Un-learning) to keep parts of myself - to myself. I learned to keep my mouth shut too often. I learned to keep a total Poker Face, through many Firey Storms. I learned to literally hold back tears, so that no-one would see my true vulnerability.
(THAT took years to Un-learn)
Which is a shame. That’s what I would tell anyone else. We should be able to feel safe enough in this world to be our true selves.
That’s what I want for my kids.
If we start reflecting on the words we use, how we use them, and towards who (including ourselves)..... and just imagine that we are speaking to the sweetest child the whole time.
- What words would we use?
- How would we use those words?
- What words did We want to hear, when We would be that ‘sweetest child’?
In the end, perhaps we'll stop worrying and feeling afraid of what others are thinking about us. If we feel so confident with ourselves, by reprogramming our Inner mental/emotional talk, we can begin to live a life where others opinions carry Zero weight.
Our Opinion is the most important of our Personal Journey.
We can stop locking ourselves up in Emotional Closets.....Give Yourself The KEY.